“Storm's dying down.”
“How can you tell?”
“Not as many sharks flying around.”
“How can you tell?”
“Not as many sharks flying around.”
“Sharknado” (2013):
Humor me for a few moments here.
It’s
a well-known fact at this point that the Syfy channel either creates or
syndicates some of thee most terribly executed sci-fi and horror films
in the history of modern cinema. From the special effects, editing,
direction, acting, so on and so forth – if Syfy is labeled on the final
product - it’s probably bad; and yet, despite of all that, they continue
to thrive and make new features on a regular basis. However, when
stopping to think about those things, that’s not really what is most
intriguing about Syfy’s success because that part is fairly obvious: The
network (or sub-network, as it were) would not be able to continue in
such a way if they weren’t getting the necessary viewership; so, in
other words, people are eating this stuff up. Sure, why not? After all,
how could curiosities not be piqued with some of the obscure titles that
Syfy throws out there for us to, er, “digest” as best as possible? And
it’s not like the studio is oblivious to their product at his point. If
an angry cinema lover wrote a heated letter to the CEO exclaiming that
“Your movies suck!”, it’s doubtful that NBC/Syfy will jolt up saying
“Jesus Christ on a crumpet! Why did no one tell us?!”
But I digress.
No,
what fascinates me is the “why” for which viewers are continuously
adding fuel to this fire. My thoughts are that, regardless of the
quote/unquote “quality” of films that Syfy makes, I would also argue in
defense of Syfy that they have some of the most imaginative productions
out there today. Think about it: Movie-goers love creature features –
always have, always will. Nevertheless, mainstream Hollywood has not
been able to make any worth a damn beyond about the 1980s (sans “Pacific
Rim”). To be brutally honest, the closest attempts at passible that
have been created are a par and sub-par look at Godzilla (and no, I’m
not counting “Deep Blue Sea” or “Snakes on a Plane” as they would have
been appropriate for the Syfy channel).
Take
the subject matter of “Sharknado” as an example. Whether it’s in a
swimming pool, bathtub, or wherever else, this is the kind of stuff that
10 to 12-year-old kids dream up with their shark toys. “A hurricane
sucks up some sharks…*whoa!*...then a big tornado blows them all over
the city and they eat people…*blahhh!*…What do we do?? I know! Throw a
bomb into the tornado…*BOOM!*” A little simplified, but the idea still
stands because I was one of those kids. Hell, I’m not taking any claims
here, but the concept of “Sharknado” sounds like something I would have
conjured up when I was bored one summer afternoon. Same thing could be
said for others, like “Sharktopus”, “Ghost Shark”, “Two-Headed Shark
Attack”, blah blah blah. Dare I say it, but Syfy could be responsible
for capturing our, gulp, childhood nostalgia.
Typically,
I give a brief rundown of the film’s synopsis/plot in my reviews, but I
pretty much just did, so why do it again? I’m a little bit behind the
curve for this series as it is, so it’s highly likely that anyone that
did get lured in by a title as outlandish as “Sharknado” has already
watched it. From my own perspective, I’ll admit it, I had fun watching
this; probably more than I should have, but like I said, it brought back
memories even if my imagination put this production to shame. Sure, it
looks like it was shot, edited, and printed in about 4 hours, and holy
crap, can you ever tell (hey, I never said a 12-year-old’s imagination
translated to the big screen). Though, in the same breath, as easy as it
would be to burn this movie while insulting its mother – why bother?
I’ve read and watched multiple reviews online of individuals bashing the
life out of “Sharknado”, and my general response was, “Really?” You and
I both knew what we were getting into from miles away. I can understand
not liking it, that’s another thing entirely, but to scathe it just
tells me that you watch the wrong channel looking for quality.
All
of that being said, I believe I’ve easily gotten my fill of this
particular feast. It was plenty fine for a nonsensical Saturday evening
spent hiding from the heat, but I think I will avoid seeing either
“Sharknado 2” or “Sharknado 3”. Same stuff/new location won’t really do
it for me.
“Sharknado”: Sure, what the heck? I’ll recommend it for a good laugh.
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